Word of Wisdom – Goofy

It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it
No one has ever been shot while doing the dishes
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming
Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again
When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving
Don’t sweat the petty things. Don’t pet the sweaty things
Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else
Don’t approve of political jokes; too many of them are already elected
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity
To avoid hating yourself in the morning–sleep ’till noon

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